I'm Byakuya and I'm Single
by faeces
Summary: Byakuya explains why he still remains single 50 years after Hisana's death. This was inspired by ‘My name is Retsu Unohana, and I am single’ by Seriously Yours. Read and review!


Hi guys. My second bleach fanfic. I'm still writing '**Wish We Could Be Young Again**', so be sure to check that out too.

This was inspired by '**My name is Retsu Unohana, and I am single**' by **Seriously Yours**.

This is written in Byakuya's POV. Enjoy and review!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything.

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Yet another waste of time. Is marriage the only thing the clan elders can think about? It has been only 50 years since Hisana's death and they have been pestering me for an heir. I do not understand their anxiousness. I am still young and will not die any time soon.

They do not understand that the only thing preventing me from a remarriage is the women themselves.

I will seek to explain to myself the flaws of all the women around me.

**Soi Fon**, captain of the 2nd division and the Omitsukido. I will skip her first. She goes together with Yoruichi.

**Unohana Retsu**, captain of the 4th division. She is almost the ideal woman; calm, reserved and cultured, also a beauty in her own right. She would be the perfect first-lady of the Kuchiki family. But what disturbs me is the fact that her braided hair looks like a beard to me. She looks like a lady-man. Also, it seems that the 11th division fear her. She has shown herself to be fully capable of manipulating a bunch of savages. I refuse to be manipulated by a bearded lady-man.

**Kotetsu Isane**, lieutenant of the 4th division. I do not see anything in her. Her appearance is plain, her character is plain and even her life is plain. The only noticeable trait of hers is that height of hers and maybe her bosoms. They are large but only overshadowed by Matsumoto. I have never stood beside her, for fear of being shorter and I plan to keep it this way.

**Hinamori Momo**, lieutenant of the 5th division. I have always thought of her as cute, not now. Ever since Aizen's betrayal, she has been obsessed with him. This is definitely proves that she is a stalker. I believe she would definitely have run to Hueco Mundo to stalk him if not for Yamamoto-sotaicho restraining her.

**Ise Nanao**, lieutenant of the 8th division. I do not see what Shunsui-taicho sees in her. From what I have observed, Shunsui is a masochist and Nanao is the dominatrix. No! No! No! I will not be whipped by her.

**Matsumoto Rangiku**, lieutenant of the 10th division. This woman is simply gorgeous. A beauty with a body that is every man's fantasy. I am a noble but above everything, I am still a man. I fantasize about her in my sleep. I will never admit this to anyone. It is a waste that her character stinks. She's lazy, loves to gossip and a spendthrift. I will not want her as a wife but would definitely want her as my mistress. It appears that she is interested in me as well. I have heard that she is avid fan of mine during the Shinigami Women's Association meeting and have often felt her eyes on me whenever I am in her line of vision. I will work on making her my mistress very soon.

**Kusajishi Yachiru**, lieutenant of the 11th division. I am no pedophile. However, having a daughter like her would delight me. I secretly enjoy that visits she give me and spend lots of time choosing the sweets that I believe she will enjoy. Even if she was a grown up lady and more mature, Zaraki will serve as a deterrent.

**Kurotsuchi Nemu**, lieutenant of the 12th division. She has a pretty face and a slim body, I especially enjoy watching her legs. I would love to slide my hand up those legs of hers. But I will have to find out the true relationship between her and her "father". I do not want to know and I definitely will not want Mayuri as my father-in-law.

**Kotetsu Kiyone**, 3rd seat of the 13th division and Isane's sister. She is a tomboy and that is all I have to say.

**Shiba Kuukaku. **I have not met her often but I do know that she is simply gorgeous. Breasts as large as Matsumoto's, legs like Nemu's and a tight round ass. It's a shame that she is crude and violent. Definitely not worthy of being the first lady of a noble. Ironical, since the blood of nobility runs in her veins. It is not wrong for me have another mistress when you already have one, right? This woman will be a tough nut to crack.

**Shihouin Yoruichi**. Another desirable woman. A reasonably large chest coupled together with legs I want to lick and a tight ass. Is it just me or are all hot (I shall use the term 'hot' here) women supposed to have flawed characters. Even though she had her reasons, she has total disregard for her status as a noble. It will definitely please the elders should I choose her to be a Kuchiki. Kuchiki Yoruichi? It sounds weird. Judging from her character, I believe that she was give me total disregard and I may end up being her plaything. She sees me as the same little boy that she can annoy a hundred years ago. But this cat woman is definitely a bargain. She comes as a set together with **Soi Fon**. This petite woman follows her around wherever she goes although she may detest me initially; she will come to respect the man that is her idol's husband over time. At this time, making her my mistress will be a breeze. For better or worse, Yoruichi's openness may mean that I would not have to keep my mistress a secret. It will also help that Kuukaku is her good friend. But I will have to seduce the demon cat and make her love me to the extent that she does not mind seeing me with another woman just as a precaution.

**Inoue Orihime**. She has a cute face and ample bosoms. But this girl is infatuated with the ryoka boy and is annoys me greatly. Every sentence of hers starts with 'Kurosaki-kun' and ends with another 'Kurosaki-kun'. I'll just make her infatuated with me instead. 'Kuchiki-sama' and 'Kuchiki-sama', how wonderful does that sound.

It is not that I do not wish to remarry. I believe that Hisana would want me to find happiness after all these years. But there is not a single woman truly worthy of bearing the title of a Kuchiki. Oh, there is one, **Neliel Tu Oderschvank**. She is an amazing woman. Beautiful, sexy and intelligent. She will easily handle the pressure of being a Kuchiki and I can visualize her being loving a wife waiting eagerly for my return from work. She will definitely be able to fully understand and meet my needs, at the same time keep up with my indifferent personality. Maybe she will understand me when I say that I want mistresses as well. Kuchiki Neliel. I find it pleasantly alluring. Is it possible to use the hogyoku to turn an arrancar into a full-fledged shinigami?

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So how was it? I have made Byakuya a horny bastard but I enjoyed doing it anyway.

Please review and read my other story as well. :D


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